sam_dance

Won't be too long an entry for now. Am pretty free now since I'm only holding on to my part time job, marking is the tedious part.

2 more weeks before I will be having my exams, mugging hard.

Am so glad that I'm more involved in church right now. Attending services, just joined a cell group, starting bible studies soon. Going for the activities and all. The people there are great, that's what makes my life full.

God has shone me the light which I was being blinded by darkness once before, I pray that God will continue to give me the strength and power to help the people around me to get rid of the darkness which is manipulated by the devil.

I'm so glad what God has transformed me into, what changes he has done to my life, I'm so grateful. Thank you Lord.

After I've accepted Christ, the people I've met are real good people, of course there was still despair in stages, however that was pretty minor. The exuberance and light took over, guided by God to do things, so much easier to lead life.

Praise the lord, our father.

Have gone through quite a bit of turbulence recently.

Work problems - school kinda sucky, due to management issue. The more my colleagues and I see them, the more frustrated and irritated we get. Besides the issue of being stingy, it is getting worse and worse, screwed up environment, how can the kids study in this place? Good thing I have my good colleagues!

My students are okay, cute yet mischievious, as usual. Wanna ask them for my 21st birthday party but am worried. Lotsa factors to consider. However, did a bbq party for them 2 weeks ago. Hmm, they had fun. And all thanks to 2 macho men who helped ferry my students here and there, credit goes to them, Mr Keane (my dearest baby cum the white gorgor) and David bear(brown gorgor). Hehe.. Thanks thanks.
Transferred some extremely naughty students to another class, couldn't take it anymore. Sigh. My good students are leaving one by one, I'm pretty bothered by this upset news, I'll probably change school to teach too.

School (Uni) - Heavy workload I have. Fainting, test and assignments and exams. All deadlines are so near to one another. I cannot catch my breath. Lucky thing- I have good classmates.

Relationship - Not exactly too many problems between my bf and I, but we have too many problems occurring which are beyond our control. Like my bf said, " Walls have ears". That makes life for both of us sort of annoyed and troubled. What can we do? I don't know.

I don't wish for anymore arguments, just pray for everyday peace, harmony, good health and blissful relationship among all of the people I know. Gonna study for my test already, AGAIN! And start preparing for my 21st birthday party.

Had been mugging for yesterday's Workplace law test. Took Thurs and Fri off just to rush the chapters. This is called super shag.

1 test is down, 2 assignments are due this week. Pretty stress up. Followed by last test before exams the following week. I'm going crazy real soon.

I wanna buy time!!!

Although I was off for 2 days, it seemed as if I took a month off. I miss my students like crazy. I believe my students too, and I'm sure they'll say, "teacher, where have you been? We miss you!" (as usual when I take leave)

I miss them too!! Sigh.. will be back on Mon.

Before I took leave on wed, we had our halloween party in advance. I made my students wear black or white only.hehe. Then put powder on their faces to make them look like some horrified "GHOSTS" or "VAMPIRES". Haha, one of my students bought the vampire teeth. SO CUTE! hehe.
The teachers dressed up too. I wore gothic while Valarie wore her cat suit.Hehe. We had movie on that day. Hehe. Hmm, was surprised that one of my mischievious students had gradually changed to become one mannered boy.

 

Now if I buy the class candies, snacks, tidbits, etc, he would thank me compared to the past. Hmm.
However, there are still the mischievious ones in my class!  ARGHH!!

Had to relieve ballet for one teacher yesterday, super shag. Have longed been to ballet, now my body is aching. I know what Singaporean students look like now, one word - "NIGHTMARE"

My bf was nice and patient enough to wait for my class to end. =) Thank you.
And we had a sumptuous dinner together. Whenever he's here, I kinda feel like there's light at the end of the tunnel although arguments are unavoidable at times. =)

Have been long since I ever last updated.

Big issues have been cropping up since then. Celebrated my dad's 50th birthday on 5th Sep.
Many came. surprisingly with many whom we have not seen for ages turned up too.

Hmm, had big preparations before that day. My whole family conspired to trick my dad into this SURPRISE birthday party. He didn't know about it, but was dressed for that occasion. He turned up, shocked, surprised, etc, to see 7 tables full of people attended his party which was carefully set up by my mum and I.
HEHEHE.....

My friends and "SOMEONE" turned up too. haha.. He sat beside me, AS MY FRIEND, THE OTHER TIME!!
Haha..We had fun games and I managed to give a speech to all, though I was shaking. Had to show some stupid dance moves, to make the players copy my steps. LOL.. WOW. didn't know Shuxian can dance. LOL.
Was also shocked that this cheeky guy of mine could drink so well. LOL.
Jesslyn has great stamina? to say, "UNCLE SIMON, HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" for about 30++ seconds. Haha. not bad babe.

Followed on, we went CLUBBING!!! ????? SAM's in CLUB?!! Oh my. Hmm. They kinda dragged me along, so tagged along. Pros and cons that I followed.
Something major happened that night. GOSh! SX,Jess,David,Mr. CHeeky K and I went together, straight after my dad's birthday, with my $200++ BEBE dress? God Damn It!  Hmm, then we drank quite a bit. I lost the games quite a bit too. CMI. After a while, couldn't take it. Had to rest, head was really spinning hard! So, the girls and David went to collect their bags.. Yeah. So something then happened, won't provide details for this. HEHE.

After SX and I threw up, the 3 of them were in a cab home, Mr CHeeky and I were in a cab, he sent me home. SO...........yeah, another part whereby the exact details will not be divulged. LOL.

The next day, flew off to Bangkok with my family. Was pretty pissed off before I left for Bangkok, due to issues with regards to Mr. Faithful Player. Haha
Had some pretty big arguments in Bangkok with family too. Was resolved when was back.

Although was pretty pissed off with Mr. Faithful Player, everything wasn't the same anymore when I was back to Singapore. AFter that, he did ask me out, and then introduced me to his friend, Mr. David Bear. SUper nice guy. Hehe. So after that, all 6 of us became a clique, SX, Bear, Jess, David, Mr Cheeky and I, went out often.

I don't know how..after many times of outings, Mr Cheeky / Mr Faithful Player And I  became a couple. lol.
Yeah. Hahahahahaha.. Seriously, I think my dad's birthday was the stepping stone to the major change.Hahaha.

Anyway, we're together for more than a month already. Don't get to see him often as he is still in his NS life, but have to withstand the pain of not being able to see him in those days, especially his weekdays.  =(
But he would try to come out of camp in some possible days to meet me.  Hehe.

Back to my work life, have been taxing, was awarded as the merit teacher. Loves my students though my class has been combined with other students already. Now i Have about 18 kids. Lol. CUTE yet mischievious kids. Nice to play with but when they don't behave themselves, that's it. Blood will start to boil. Miss them already, many of them have took the government exam, will be leaving very soon. I cannot imagine my good students leaving me. My 1st batch and quite a few good ones in there. I'm afraid I cannot control my tears. I believe my students too. Cause I've always cultivate the habit of telling my students I love and miss them. Haha. Whenever they don't see me for a day, they'll ask me why I'm not here, they miss me, etc..

Haha, that's one of the aspects that I love my students the most. I don't wish to see them leave me. SIGH.
Had arranged a farewell party for my students in nov, with other colleagues too. SUper nice colleagues I have in work, pretty lucky that no teachers play politics over there. Good environment to work in.
Told my students that we'll play halloween next week. LOL. They were so happy. haha.

Other than my work, my school life has been too stressed up, exams, exams, assignments, and assignments. Never ending. damn it. Worst of all, 2 of my modules are LAW modules. Oh my. Also, the slut (J) and her bf (the freeloader), which used to be in my group for the last sem, are in my friday's class. How unfortunate can I get. luckily they're no longer in my group, or else the project will probably fail because of that 2 fellows, useless freaks. Good thing was Adrian is our lecturer,haha funny cute lecturer. Although wed's lecturer aren't that efficient, he's lenient towards marking, which was good in a way.

Test's next week, gotta go study already. Project's deadline's around the corner too. Tight schedule. Good luck, and all the best!  =D

Kinda busy with my own exams, mugging and working like shit. HATE EXAMS, especially degree exams are NOT a piece of cake.

Finally after my exams, I have to bother about my students' exams. OH my, I've been worrying for quite a while then. They had their oral on Monday, their paper 1 and 2 on Tuesday. Luckily, my tips regarding oral did pay off for some students, obviously the obedient ones because they applied whatever I've taught them, scored pretty well. Not bad.

The daydreamers, flunked my paper one and two. Of course, always daydreaming, don't deserve to pass. *SIGH*

Kinda relieved because this was the 1st exam they took, after I've taken over. I've only given them a test before, and only 1 passed. This specific exam which was set by myself was rather tough, they were complaining, but good, most of them improved!!

 More than half of the class pass their exams. Hmm, good! 2 almost scored their As.

Yesterday, we were having a party as we watched the "Confessions of a Shopaholic" in class, then we ordered pizza for our students, my class combined with my colleague's class. Played games too, hmm, they had great fun. Good to see them like this.   =D

Brought 3 students out for a movie, as they have been bugging me to watch UP with them. So I brought them to bugis cinema to watch due to the early time slot as I have my wisdom teeth operation at 4pm.
Yeap, cute students. they loved the movie. Others were like staring at me, thinking they might be my kids. Haha.

Kinda guilty not sending them home, was worrying about them on my way for operation. I gotta rush as it was near 4. So I told them how to take MRT home but they replied, "teacher, we know how to go home".
Expected as they take MRT home everyday, so wasn't that bad. Reminded them to call me when they've reached home and they were very obedient. Once they reached, the quickly gave me a call. =)
Kept reminding them to ask any uncles or aunties for direction if they are lost. Hmm..bringing them out is not easy too huh.. haha

One of my students was really sweet though. Gave me a present yesterday, was surprised, Teachers' Day gift? She didn't mention but she did it all by herself, 1 cute little spongy toystand. =D

Perhaps it was some kind of encouragement as they knew I was going for my op. =D

By the time I reached the clinic, I was so freaked out. My dad brought me there and I waited.

I had to extract like 4 Wisdom teeth at one go!!!! WTH. Previously, I took my X-ray and doc told my dad that I gotta extract all 4 because it'll affect my bracing. I, myself was shocked too, I only knew that I had 1 popping out. so the other 3 were hidden!!
1 extracted, 3 operated!!  =(
The doc mentioned the other time was that I had to extract all 4, so he recommended my dad to put me to sleep, so that I would not feel the pain during the process which was on sedation.
Then my dad agreed because there's a bit to go through during that 2 hours of process.
But guess what, it costs like $5K for this stupid op because my doc needs to bring in another specialist just to put me on sedation. It's not the job of my doc. So the conversation/joke between my doc and my dad went like this,

Doc: "Don't worry, she won't feel any pain if she's on sedation but she cannot remember anything at all after that once she's is being put to sleep."

Dad: "Huh, she cannot remember anything AT ALL?"

Doc: "Oh no no, not everything. Just the process not everything in her whole lifetime."

Dad: "Oh, you scare me, I thought everything in her lifetime, then like this, she'll forget me too".

I was laughing my ass off in the clinic. LOL. My doc then assure me that I will remember whatever I've studied and my students too. LOL.

But I thought again, it might be a good thing though, so I can erase all my sad memories, start a total new life again! Wow. 1 on 1 exchange, that's kinda great though. Hmm, currently no one can do that yet. Why not, a good exchange.

So yesterday, the moment I stepped into the ops room. My doctor explained everything to me but he didn't tell me that I would be injected!!!!!!!!!!! I'm totally freaked out by needles!!!!!!
All he told me before was that the specialist will apply something onto my hand and I'll go to sleep, which made me feel at ease.

When I saw that darn Needle which the specialist was holding onto, I was TOTALLY SPEECHLESS and my mouth was OPENED DARN WIDE! DAMN!!! Oh my, and the worst of all, it was injected into my wrist when he could find my nerve, the most sensitive and painful area. I almost cried out already. THe only thing he said made me felt relieved was he would be there all the while to check my heart rate and my breathing so not to be afraid.

Then, he just left the needle in there like this. Inserting more liquid in. It started to feel a prick at 1st when the liquid was in, then it became painful. I told the darn specialist and then he replied, "Oh, really?" However, he just continued with his own Damn business. WTH!!!

I was still talking to the nurse and the next moment I was knocked out, like the kind of immediate blackout. You really don't know what's going on at all. I don't even know that the effect was on already.

After that, I seriously don't know anything about it. From what I heard from my mum was that after the whole op, my doc woke me up but he couldn't manage to do it because I couldn't wake up, so he quickly called my dad to bring me home.
I think I heard someone calling me but I just couldn't wake up. Then the next moment, I felt someone pulling and carrying me, I think 2. I can't see, I'm barely walking. But I know one of them is definitely my dad, from my senses. I don't know who the other was, because my mum was working, could not be her.

Then after that, I felt that I was in a car, senses again. I don't know how they managed to put me in, probably dragging me. The next minute I know, i was being pulled and dragged again, this time round I think I heard my mum's voice but my eyes could still NOT be opened. I don't know why. So I assumed it was my mum, but again, I don't know who the other person was because I don't hear my dad. All the conversations were not clear at all, just some kind of bees' buzzling sound.

I was being held on to, I could not see nor talk. I could only feel a bit, based on senses. That's bad, didn't know the sedation effect was this strong. The last thing I know was that I was on my bed already, so I continued to sleep, till the sedation effect was all gone. My mum said my face was totally swollen, and had to bite on to the cotton paddings. Could not feel anything.

When I woke up, I was still very giddy, I could not stand nor walk properly, so my mum and maid had to help me to the living room. Wasn't feeling right at all, everything was so bad. Could not talk at all, my jaw and my mouth were all numb, no feeling. My mum kept asking me questions, hoping I'm fine, because I was so pale. I went to the toilet to check what was going on in my mouth, all I see was blood, darn! It's really HELL LOT of blood. I can't even see white.

My mum took out the BLOODY cotton paddings and gave me a pail. I gargle my mouth by sipping as I could not feel myself drinking at all. Whenever I sip, the water kept spilling out. Yes, the word is SPILLING, not dripping. LARGE AMOUNT of it. I couldn't seem to force water into my mouth at all. But I managed to sip after many tries, then spat a little blood out, at least. Couldn't drink, too numb, I couldn't even taste water. Everything came out. I was so hungry as I couldn't eat 8 hrs before the op, and then by the time I woke up it's already near 10pm, DARN!
I couldn't eat either.

DARN, hate the feeling. When I started forcing myself to drink, the pain came. Imagine, I had LOTS of medicine to take, darn! Worst still, all HUGE tablets. How can I even swallow? I tried, couldn't make it and eventually my parents smashed the tablets into powder form. That made my life slightly easier!

Couldn't bathe, just managed to clean my body with wet towel, too giddy to do that, may faint any moment. Then went to sleep pretty early, like before 11. DIdn't manage to eat though I was freaking hungry. No choice, just went to sleep. Woke up like 3am just now to blog, couldn't sleep. The numbness went off, but the pain is here. Couldn't sleep sideways, both sides of my jaws were painful so gotta sleep facing the ceiling. DARN!

The fortunate thing was that I took painkillers before I slept so it wasn't that bad compared to not taking although I can feel the pain now. Anyways, hmm, giddiness is not as bad as before. Am going back to sleep already. Hmm, well, I took leave so I could rest more, don't think I can even teach if I'm going. But for now, I cannot talk and eat and also not close my mouth, hate this.

So think twice before you go for your wisdom tooth/teeth ops. Haha.

Hi all,

have not been updating my journal.

Am too busy with work life and studies. Rushing assignments and projects all the way.

Found a new job in the education industry, have been teaching in an International school for a month or so.

Pretty fun, love teaching, but taking away the moments that my students irritate me.
*Sigh*

Have been shouting and scolding recently, students probably got used to me, not afraid of me anymore.
Have been trying to use all sorts of punishments too. *SIGH*

However, there are good ones too.  =)

You would probably be laughing, I'm teaching English for primary levels.

Haha. Gotta do lots of preparation. Teaching is definitely not easy, and now I can understand the pain my teachers went through back then. =(
Setting examination questions and papers are part of the job too. Argh.. not easy task.

That's my job scope. Loads to do. Never can end. Not much politics though, lucky thing. Just that school's a little stingy.  *SIGH*

Am taking my exams on Monday, have been focusing on my students' exams more than mine.

Before this, 2 tragedies happened. Both of them had unfortunately passed away, MJ and my aunt.
Went back to KL for my aunt's funeral, heart breaking. Died really young.

Coincidentally, 2 weeks after MJ died, who was another person I admired lots previously, my aunt went home to the Lord.
Both of them were of the same age, 51. Very young huh?

The good thing was that my aunt was a christian, so there weren't any moaning kind of funeral that was similar to the buddhism or taoism. Looking at it positively, our Lord brought her home early so that she would not have to suffer the pain down here, probably went to look for MJ too.
Anyway, R.I.P to both, they are in good hands under our Lord. =)
You'll be remembered forever in our hearts, dear Aunt Esther and MJ.
 

All the best to my exams and to my students too! Love them loads.   =D

Yeap, have longed been updating my journal.

Reason being time committed to do my school stuff and work initially..

Had actually found a stupid job and I didn't quite like the job scope so resigned, also due to some personal issues..

 

Yes, this period when I didn't update my journal. I was having HELL time out there.

Working and studying at the same time is CHAOS..especially when you don't have time to commit to your assignments.

And have been rushing my consecutive assignments like crazy..so didn't have the time to update as well as my novel.

And seriously, just my personal affairs can be very time-consuming.. especially to settle some stuff with a JERK!

Currently, I've found out a new focus to distract myself..but it's closely linked with that JERK..

I don't know if I can hang on till forever.

And yes, great, J*M, you've did it..my love for you has turned to total HATRED right now..thanks to you.

I've learnt to control myself.. YOUUUU...don't bother about "him" and I..leave us alone..

JUST remember to PAY for everything..after the exact one..you'll leave us alone..
The rest is of my business.. I'm gonna take care of the rest.. (if there's hope)

Go Fk marry your bella..i don't need your Fk responsibility here..because you don't want to either..

OUR businesses has nothing to do with you anymore! You're not going to meddle with our businesses..
So, dont force me to the extreme. This I warn you first, SUCKER! Beware of what cha going to do.

And fk please, your sales has totally nothing to do with US, alright! Stop all your fking loser attitude and behaviour by pushing all the fault to both of us alright! Once more, if you're trying to hurt us..I'm seriously not going to let you go..you won't want to mess around with me.

Don't ever underestimate what a girl can do.

Now, anything that can hurt "him", I'll go all my way to protect it..no matter what.

What has the current world changed into?

Some times, I really agree with Armageddon. To stop all human beings from their selfish acts, and to start a new breed of human, hoping that they will be selfless.

Just today alone, GUYS have told me off for no reason.
This guy, because he is SO selfish, expected me to keep all my time for him, and I don't have all my time for him, so he commented negatively..

And another guy, from all out of a sudden..text me to question me if I'm attached now..for chasing me after SO MANY YEARS and that I've never accepted him..he cheated me once before...and expected me to give him some good results for he wanted to know..

Another tuition guy, deemed as my science "tutor", and I don't remember him teaching me when I was in my secondary life, chased me for quite a while..but to no avail...text me online to ask me to be his "FAKE" girlfriend on this coming Saturday..
Reason was because his mates are all bringing their girlfriends to Swissotel, so he wanted me to be his.. I mean come on..why do I want to do this? For no reason, asked me out for dinner and asked if I'm attached, etc.
When I've rejected him, he told me off..
"Don't be cruel to yourself, you seem like doing tasks just to numb certain feelings"

Excuse me, who's hurting who right here? Am I cruel to the guys OR are the guys I've met cruel to me?!
Yea, I don't have the time to commit, this is 1.  I don't want to tie myself down for no reason, this is 2. And 3rdly, if I have a boyfriend, I think I'll have lots of obligations to go over to Perth to study! This is my dream, where nothing can stop me from going.

I've learnt so much, after being cheated for umpteen times. You'll see there's no need to be attached to hinder your progress..
When I've wanted it badly, I didn't have it..so when I've given up..nothing will fall into place already, no matter what..
All thanks to this one guy who "taught" me..you don't have to be attached to hold on to the one you like, or I would rather say, to be selfish to satisfy your needs....

God knows what are you guys doing. We'll see what you're going to get... =)

Took some fantastic photos, which you can never find this product in SIngapore. =)

 

What does this looks like to you? Hmm. 
My uncle bought it for me from Macau, as requested.

   
Have a closer look, what does it says now? It's not that "thing".


  
What's the inside when I take a packet out?


 
This' the exact thing when I take it out from the packet. Does this look like that "thing"? Oh My.. =D


Have the others in other flavours as well, and will post pictures of other such products the next time.  =D

Alright, back to journal entry.
This might be a long entry as well.

Had my Quantitative Methods' exam on last wed. And the lecturer told me that I've scored a HIgh Distinction! WOW.. 2 marks to full!
Yeah, it's not really tough..scared the hell out of me. Thanks for the lecturer's tips.

Projects are on going..kinda stressed up! Especially Human Resource and Organisational Development (HROD)'s individual report! Damn it..it's freaking difficult to source for information and expects us to write 8 pages of NOTHING? Crap..

Dr. Aloy Lee's individual reports' not too bad..but the group project's kinda tough..marketing plan! I'm pretty afraid of the referencing..it's so strict over at Murdoch (Perth)'s side. Once they've found you extracting a sentence from any source without citing it on the citation paper, you're damned for plagarism! Now I've considered TP as a much lenient school.

I seriously don't like the teaching style of my HROD lecturer despite the fact that he is crappy and funny. He threw us in the big ocean, and without any help, he required us to meet his HIGH expectation! Such a broad topic and no hints or tips provided, how are we supposed to do it with the fact that he loves to fail students with 4/30? Damn. =(

Another job interview last friday. Hopefully, I can be shortlisted in a decent firm with a decent job. (*God has planned the route, he knows what to do*)  =)

Went ballet on Sat, and Oh my..bad muscle aches after the class. Felt so good to sweat, have not been sweating for long. As usual, had dinner with my family.

Had church service on Sunday, and went out to catch a cute movie (Monsters VS Aliens)! Darn cute..I love the "jelly-like" character..he's dumb but totally cute! Almost got the 3D version but can you believe it, all four slots were running fast like crazy (This shows that singaporeans have nothing better to do but to catch a movie)  =|
Hanged out in Vivo..and managed to catch the YOYO competition, the final rounds. Wow, it's really amazing as the stunts were impressive, I would say..And this COOL judge...hehe...he's hot and cute...and I think he's pretty good looking..I guessed I was peeping at him most of the time. (*blushed*)

Met the marketing manager from Murdoch (Perth) on Mon, to consult on the fees and other enquiries for moving my modules over to Perth to complete my course. Wow, this is freaking exciting but I'm having some obligations.. Money matters now. Oh..  =(
Then went over to library to do some research, was so tired that I've actually fell asleep. =|
Headed over to town to hang around, viewed some cheap lappies, before heading back to school for Dr. Aloy's lecture..

Had my last minute interview at Tiong Bahru as a teacher in one of the tuition centre yesterday. Probably they might slot me for telemarketing position concurrently with the tutoring job. This case, I might have a lil more income. =)
They called me to arrange another round of interview on Thurs evening, and hopefully, everything goes out well..before I can head straight to project meeting at Tiong Bahru.

And lastly, I know that my readers are getting bored waiting, or impatient with my Chapter 5. I'm really sorry about this. I'm trying my best to squeeze time and inspiration together..but the good news is, I've completed 3/4..will be able to post it on blog in these few days. Thanks for the patience. Love you guys! =D

Hmm, went for 2 job interviews this week..

The first one was looking at a position as a training assistant for financial consultants..and the 2nd one was as a trainer for schools..

For the 2nd one, it's was my 2nd interview as I was shortlisted after the 1st round..so went there to do a presentation..UNPREPARED!!

I was not given anything to prepare and have to do it on the spot..which I was..DID IT!

I asked from God to provide me with the confidence and not to stutter this time round, he answered.. =) Thank god!

This was one of the few times that I don't stutter in my presentations.. and did it pretty well..i thought..probably because I'm familiar on that topic..which was gone through in Poly...the lucky thing that I've paid attention in class! =P

But did a pretty big mistake that was pointed out by the manager.. Overall, I think it's not too bad..

Even if I'm not chosen for this job, it's ok..because I've learnt..and gained.. =)
God has better plans for me.. =D

Went for bridging course for Statistics...2 and half day crash course! and Exam's on this coming Wed..Had a pretty foul mood yesterday..due to the YOUNG lecturer..couldn't understand what he was teaching..situation was so bad that I'd almost broken down..nothing...that I could understand..in his SOPHISTICATED FORMULAS! OMG..deliberately went down to Popular to get O levels' Maths to do probability..DARN!
It's so many topics trying to squeeze into 2 and half days..and didn't manage to comprehend the equations..

Fortunately, I've managed to ask Sihui so she taught me her methods...WOW! I could understand so much better..and thanks to her! =D
Slept pretty late in the morning just to get a clearer view of what I'm going to be tested in exam..
So asked from God again..to give me the energy, concentration and whatever to get myself a CLEAR view of what I'm being taught..
And today..miraculously, I'd managed to understand most of them..and got it right..! =D
Hopefully, the exam questions are as easy as what the lec had taught us!

So, God answered my prayers once again! yes..that's why I believe in him..he loves all of us..to want to be in us..so much so that he wants to protect us as well..Thank you God for the love you've provided. Amen.

I'm much better in my current state..that the view in my affairs for r/s is so much clearer now..i can see everything...
I've decided to forget and to forgive..that everything was put behind me...

He sent me a message the other day online..and he tried to reason it out with me..hoping to get me back on his track..but....
I have my firm stand already..that everything will result in Nothing at all...

All he wants is just me to be with him..until he has found his girl..
But the more I stay close with him, the more hurt we'll result in each other..probably me..
because we know everything is not real..we love, we like, we crush..everything..will just be in vain..!

Should you continue cheating me or yourself? You, clearly know that we can't be together..you've told me that from the start..no matter how much I dearly hope for it to happen?and now you're telling me..who knows?! Are you trying to get back on ya track that's why you said something like this so that I'll believe whatever you've said is true? And then dishearten me again?

You said you love me..sending me a Long text..because you want me back to ya side..is that right?
You just want self-comfort and self-satisfaction, don't you, my dear one? Why? You said it's perspective..but that's the way people see things..
What are you going to defend yourself now? Because you care for me...and love me as a FRIEND, so you don't want me to change? And you want me to continue being ya "LOVE" one..until you've found ya girl..so that she could replace me..to take care of you?
Is this what you want? That's all..right?
So what am I to you in the first place? I'm just a FRIEND of yours...yes..Thanks for loving me as a friend..i appreciated that...
So..friends..will just be friends..and do what FRIENDS do..

But whatever the past is..let it be..because it really doesn't matter anymore..No longer...You'll find ya Bella..as you've wished for...

I'll not believe...not anymore...that I know nothing can..happen....between us....sometimes...when you've broken something..that something can never be mended back to it's original shape again...There aren't many chances in life..that's the reality...

And only God, can do anything to heal me..